Lindsay Lundvall, a dedicated school counselor at Buffalo Ridge Elementary School, shares her journey and insights into becoming a Proverbs 31 woman. Married to Shay and mother to two children, Skyin and Breen, Lindsay grew up in Rapid City, South Dakota, in a strong Christian home. Attending church every Sunday was the norm, and Christian morals and values were deeply instilled in her from a young age.
Lindsay's story highlights her lifelong struggle with people-pleasing. As the youngest of three children and the only granddaughter, she developed a desire to be liked by everyone around her. This need for approval grew over time, especially during her high school and college years. Despite avoiding the typical party scene, she found herself deeply involved in Christian organizations like Campus Crusades for Christ and Oasis, a church outreach program for college students.
Lindsay’s faith began to solidify during her college years, and she became acutely aware of the Proverbs 31 woman—a model of a virtuous and capable wife. However, she found the chapter both intimidating and unachievable. Like many young Christian women, she viewed Proverbs 31 as a daunting to-do list, feeling immense pressure to live up to its high standards.
Instead of seeing Proverbs 31 as a checklist, Lindsay learned to view it as a guideline for living out her faith. The chapter can be broken down into five key themes: integrity, hard work, productivity, faith, and beauty.
Proverbs 31:10-12 says, "Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." Integrity is about moral excellence and being uncommon in a world that often values conformity. The entire book of Proverbs aims to teach wisdom, discipline, and the ability to make right decisions, even when they are unpopular.
Proverbs 31:13-15 highlights the hard work of the virtuous woman: "She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls." While the specifics may not be relatable today, the essence is clear: sacrificial giving for one’s family. Whether working inside or outside the home, God calls us to give our best in every endeavor.
Proverbs 31:16 says, "She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard." This verse, along with Proverbs 31:21, which states, "She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes," calls for using time wisely, planning for the future, and being productive with the resources God has given. This productivity extends beyond the home, impacting workplaces and friendships.
Proverbs 31:25 proclaims, "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." This verse challenges women to be so grounded in God's word that they can face life's challenges with confidence and trust. Leading in faith is not solely the husband’s role; women too are called to actively participate in spiritual leadership within their families and communities.
Proverbs 31:30 asserts, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." In a world constantly dictating standards of beauty, true beauty is found in integrity, hard work, productivity, and faith. These qualities reflect the inner transformation God is working in each person and will outlast physical appearances.
Lindsay’s journey illustrates the difference between pressure and accountability. While pressure leads to feelings of inadequacy, accountability fosters repentance and change. Extending grace to oneself is crucial, recognizing mistakes and learning from them. For instance, Lindsay's daughter, Skyin, learned from a mistake in a softball game, which serves as a reminder that mistakes are part of growth.
The journey to becoming a Proverbs 31 woman is part of the broader path of sanctification that all believers walk. Perfection is not achieved overnight, but through daily following Jesus, believers are refined and made better. When the world’s standards make people feel inadequate, it’s essential to remember that Jesus has already paid the price, and God’s grace is sufficient.
For those feeling overwhelmed by the call to be a Proverbs 31 woman, it is helpful to focus on one area of struggle. Seeking the guidance of trusted friends or family members can provide insight. Just like the fruits of the Spirit, mastering all these qualities at once is not expected. Jesus was perfect, and He empowers His followers to grow in these areas.
Be uncommon and resist the world’s standards. Each day, choose to pick up the cross and face life’s battles with Jesus by your side. The journey to becoming the women God has called everyone to be is ongoing, but with God’s guidance, it is achievable.
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