Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Hey New Life Gillette Church, we are thrilled you decided to listen to our teaching on your favorite podcast app. If you made a decision to follow Christ today, would you let us know by visiting yes.newlife Gillette.com Here is this week's teaching.
[00:00:25] Well good morning New Life and good morning to you church 307. Thanks for tuning in online as well as to those at the prison. Shout out to you. Thanks for being here today. As Pastor C.J. said, my name is Mark. I am the new discipleship pastor here today and I'm excited to explore God's Word with you. We have been in this series called Stone and it has been focusing on the ten Commandments that were originally written on stone. And these commandments or these truths are the foundational truths for life itself.
[00:01:04] These truths relate or these truths are how we relate to God and to our neighbor.
[00:01:14] So if you have your Bibles today, go ahead and open to Exodus chapter 20 starting at verse 12. And we are going to be on the fifth commandment because we are in the fifth week of the series.
[00:01:27] So will you join me in Exodus chapter 20 verse 12?
[00:01:33] Honor your Father and your mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is given you.
[00:01:44] Growing up my brother and I often visited my grandparents house on my dad's side of the family which is called the Becher side of the family.
[00:01:57] And we would visit there quite often.
[00:02:01] And as we would visit there me and my brother began to recognize this sound that would specifically come from my grandfather's mouth. My grandfather's name is Lowell and he would the sound would sound something like this.
[00:02:24] Let me translate.
[00:02:26] It means that I don't like the words that just came out of your mouth.
[00:02:33] So when my brother or I, or maybe my grandma or my dad would ask my grandpa a question that he did not like or do something he didn't like, he would go and so we called this the Becher grumble.
[00:02:57] But as we continued to become more aware that this bettured grumble not only was in my grandparents house, but somehow it followed to my dad's house.
[00:03:15] And so when me and my brother would do something my dad didn't like or ask him something that he didn't want to do, we would hear but his was a little higher pitch. It was like eh, something like that.
[00:03:36] And as my brother and I have progressed into adulthood, we have found that the Betcher grumble has made its way into our home.
[00:03:49] Now I can't speak for my brother on this, but my grumble probably comes from honey do lists. Do you know what a honey do list is? It's honey do this, honey do that.
[00:04:02] And so, like, if my wife asks me to do something and I'm maybe this is a confession time. I do a.
[00:04:14] And my wife loves to hear that. By the way, that's one of her favorite noises.
[00:04:20] No, it's not.
[00:04:23] And just the other day, I was interacting with my son Peter, and we were messing around and I did something he didn't like.
[00:04:37] And as you can imagine, I heard a noise that came from his mouth that went something like this.
[00:04:48] And so the betcher grumble, which started with my grandpa, to my knowledge, had made its way to my dad, to my brother and I, and now to my son. And maybe if my son Peter has a boy, that boy can break the betrayer grumble curse.
[00:05:10] But why do I tell you this?
[00:05:13] I tell you this because our parents have had and continue to have a profound impact on our lives.
[00:05:25] A guy by the name of Pete Gazzero says it this Jesus may live in your heart, but grandpa lives in your bones.
[00:05:37] The impact that our parents have had could be good, could be bad, it could be indifferent to how we feel about it. But in the end, in light of our relationship with our parents, whether that was abusive or you love your parents, we encounter this commandment, this truth.
[00:06:02] Honor your father and your mother.
[00:06:07] God established this truth to be part of the foundational ethics for his people.
[00:06:15] So what does it mean for us to honor our father and mother?
[00:06:21] And this is the question that I want us to hold. What does it mean to honor your father and mother? Because this is a command given by God for his people.
[00:06:32] And it matters.
[00:06:34] In order to best understand how to honor our parents, we need to look at the culture in which this commandment was given in as well as the word honor. See, in the Israelite culture, elders held authority and family honor guided decisions. That means fathers and elders were respected leaders and choices were made based on what strengthens the family's name and stability rather than personal preference. Because of that, life direction was family centered and not individually driven.
[00:07:19] Children were expected to continue in the family trade and role of their parents. And marriages and major life decisions focused on preserving family strength instead of personal dreams or romance. Can you imagine this?
[00:07:41] They lived in a society where arranged marriages happen.
[00:07:45] So they would. Two families would get together when these children were very young and say, you know what? Yeah, I think you could benefit us with your land and we can benefit you with our cattle. Why don't we. I'LL take my son, you take your daughter, and they'll get married. And this is going to benefit our family.
[00:08:07] That's foreign to us. Can you imagine that today if you're a teen in the room? If you're a child in the room, can you imagine if your parents came up to you and said, hey, we were just talking with the Johnsons down the street, and they said they would give us all the access to their chicken so that we can have eggs.
[00:08:26] And in return, they just gotta bum a little bit electricity. But in order for this to happen, I need you to go down to New Life and we're gonna Talk with Pastor C.J.
[00:08:38] and you guys are gonna get married. It's gonna be okay. And you guys need one. I just need you to take it for the team. Like, no, that's ridiculous. That would not happen today in this culture, right? Like, it is vastly different.
[00:08:52] See, our society today focuses on the individual more than doing what's best for the family. We focus on the pursuit of careers, getting as far as we can in sports, personal goals, the pursuit of happiness.
[00:09:11] And these things aren't bad, but it's just different.
[00:09:16] Israelites life were shaped around serving the family's needs and carrying on its legacy. Even. Even today, we take our children's lives and we even focus our schedules around them.
[00:09:31] Maybe one of your child has a music lesson or has a sports game. Like, you make sure that you eat at a certain time in order that you can get to that sports game. And that was foreign to this culture because children would have been expected to make their schedule around their family.
[00:09:52] And there may be some overlap there, but not to the extent that we see within the Israelite culture.
[00:09:59] So we need to keep that in mind when we hear honor your father and mother.
[00:10:05] And this word for honor in the Hebrew is deeply contextual. And what that means is that that word is given meaning by the surrounding text around it.
[00:10:21] But traditionally or most of the time, this word is translated to make heavy or weighty.
[00:10:33] So it's better understood as maybe significant or to give gravity to.
[00:10:43] And that's not too different to how we view it at times. Like if someone receives the most because they've done something significant for their country.
[00:10:55] But you see, honor is to treat with significance.
[00:11:00] Honor is to treat with significance. Honoring our parents is significant. They play a significant role in our life.
[00:11:10] And how they do that is through two different ways. See, honoring our parents is linked to how we honor God, our relationship with God and with others.
[00:11:25] To give honor to our parents is to recognize the significance God places on their roles. This is a command that is not just social, it's spiritual.
[00:11:36] How we treat the authority God established in the home reflects how God how we respond to God himself. This is why the commandment sits in the center of the ten commandments. It bridges our relationship with God and others.
[00:11:57] When honor is removed from the home, it is never removed in isolation.
[00:12:06] It's replaced with rebellion and disorder.
[00:12:10] Societal health begins in the home. Children first learn to respect authority through their parents or the first relationships in their home, which shapes how they respect authority in the wider world.
[00:12:27] When parents are present and intentional, children are more likely to be wise and benefit their make decisions that benefit their family and their communities.
[00:12:40] The opposite is true.
[00:12:43] If children don't learn to respect authority in the home when they enter into the wider world, they are most likely not going to respect authority and get into decisions that are unhealthy for society.
[00:12:58] And this isn't something that should shock us.
[00:13:02] That's how crime enters into today.
[00:13:07] See, God in this commandment, has this little phrase. He says this, honor your father and mother that you may live long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. At this time, God is taking the Israelites from Egypt, and he is bringing them to the promised land.
[00:13:27] And in the midst of that, he's saying, if you want to live in the promised land long, then you need to have healthy relationships that start within the home.
[00:13:40] See, I don't think God was like, you know what? If you listen to your parents and if you obey your parents, you're Gonna Live to 150 years.
[00:13:49] That's not what he's saying here. He's setting the society up to saying, when you honor your parents in your home, when you give them significance that they deserve, then you are gonna have a society that is healthy.
[00:14:04] And these are the truths that God instilled within the world itself.
[00:14:13] This is how God designed the home to shape generations.
[00:14:18] What is learned in the family shapes how we live in society.
[00:14:22] Strong homes produce strong communities because respect for authority begins in the home.
[00:14:30] But now, let me take a moment here, parents. We also set the tone for how we receive honor. If we're abusing our role and we are not being honorable, then it's gonna be harder for our children to give us honor. And let me say this. I have failed at that at times in my life. I have failed at being honorable and making it easy for my children to be honorable.
[00:15:05] Like, we're all going to fail. But if we don't have this goal.
[00:15:08] If we don't see the importance of this, then it's going to be harder for our children.
[00:15:17] See, honoring our father and mother, though, is just not a stage in life we grow out of.
[00:15:24] See, honor is not a stage. It's a lifelong posture.
[00:15:32] Honoring your parents is significant.
[00:15:35] Why?
[00:15:36] Because it lasts a lifetime.
[00:15:39] The way we express significance to our parents changes, but the posture remains.
[00:15:47] I don't think Moses, when he received this commandment, I don't think God said to Moses, he's like, all right, Moses, you've said the first four commandments.
[00:15:56] Now what you need to do is you need to take the children over to the side.
[00:16:01] Parents, you're gonna get a five minute break and you're gonna say, hey, you need to obey your parents. You need to listen to everything they say. You know what, parents, I just gave you a caveat. So they have to do what you tell them. You know, like, no, that's not it. See, the audience of the ten commandments is both old and young.
[00:16:23] It's just not for children.
[00:16:26] It is for adults. It's for men, women, boys and girls.
[00:16:33] And how we express this significance changes at different stages in life. As children, we listen and obey and we learn.
[00:16:43] As teenagers, you respect and obey, but you grow in independence, taking the advice that your parents have given you that has been helpful and not hurtful to you.
[00:16:56] But as adults, this changes to respecting or representing and caring for and valuing them.
[00:17:08] My dad worked at a hospital in Rapid City, and at the time it was called regional hospital. Now it is called Monument. But his position there was the director of ortho neurosurgical. And basically what that means is he owned like two floors. Like, he managed them. And so, like, he. He built up a good name and people respected him. And I had the privilege that when I got out of high school that I got to be a cna, a certified nursing assistant at this hospital.
[00:17:41] And I worked on the fifth floor, which was in the icu.
[00:17:45] And when people would introduce me to people, to others, they would say this. Hey, this is Mark, Phil's son.
[00:17:56] Hey, this is Mark, Phil's son. This is Phil's son. This is Phil's son. And it came apparent to me that when I was there, I was representing my dad's name.
[00:18:12] And so I had to really critically think, do I want to associate? Do my actions?
[00:18:19] Should my actions be associated with my dad's name?
[00:18:24] Should they. Should I be doing what I'm doing? Is it bringing my dad honor? And I didn't do it just to have, like, win this approval from my dad. I did it because I wanted to honor God.
[00:18:38] But this is very similar to what Pastor C.J. preached two weeks ago about. You shall not wear the Lord your God's name in vain.
[00:18:50] See, we're called as we go into adulthood to represent our parents because that honors them. And in turn, it's honoring God.
[00:19:01] The second thing is caring for. See, the society then did not have a Social Security system.
[00:19:09] They did not have nursing homes.
[00:19:12] Social Security checks was the children's paycheck they brought home or earnings they brought home. And a nursing home was the room that you had in your house.
[00:19:25] And so God is saying now that you need to care for them as they grow older. And your parents, as they grow older, are going to need someone to take care of them.
[00:19:34] There's going to become a time in their lives where they cannot take care of themselves.
[00:19:41] But today we have all these system in place where the government provides some help, where we have nursing homes and all these things. So here's something that we need to take from this.
[00:19:55] We need to be aware of how we're caring for them.
[00:20:00] We need to be aware of how they're caring for them. That may be helping them transition into a nursing home, or it may be that you need to receive them into your own home. I'm not going to tell you that for you. If you're looking for an answer, sorry, I don't have one. You're going to have to wrestle with that.
[00:20:19] But we need to be aware of how we are caring for them.
[00:20:24] See, here's a question that we should probably ask. In every season of life that we're in, do I treat my parents with significance?
[00:20:35] This is a command that Jesus took very seriously.
[00:20:43] In John chapter two, we read that Jesus and his mother are at a wedding. And at this wedding, the guy runs out of wine, which is like a big no, no, it brings dishonor. And so his mom, Jesus, mom, Mary hears about that and goes over to Jesus and says, hey, they ran out of wine.
[00:21:04] And Jesus is like, woman, what does this have to do with me? Now, I don't know if Jesus responded that way, but that's how I read it in my head.
[00:21:15] And then Jesus says, for my time has not yet come.
[00:21:23] And Jesus mom goes over to servants and says, do whatever he says.
[00:21:28] And so Jesus turns water into wine, provides for the banquet, and he performs his first miracle because his mom told him to.
[00:21:40] Later, Jesus is rebuking the pharisees. In Mark 15 because the Pharisees are telling the people, they say, you need to set aside this money that should be for taking care of your parents and give it to the temple.
[00:21:58] And he's rebuking them because the Pharisees wanted this money. And what I mean by Pharisees is like these people that really studied the Old Testament and knew it through and through, but they wanted the money for the temple unselfishly. And Jesus rebukes them because he's. Because they've broken the command to honor the mother and Father.
[00:22:24] As Jesus went throughout his ministry, he says this phrase where he says, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
[00:22:34] To which his disciple Philip said, have can we see the Father?
[00:22:43] And Jesus says, if you've seen me, then you've seen the Father. See, everything Jesus did represented the Father.
[00:22:58] In John 19, when Jesus was on the cross, one of his final thoughts was to care for his mom.
[00:23:13] Because he looked at a disciple and he said, behold your mother. And he looked at his mother and he said, behold your son.
[00:23:24] And it wasn't this like this weird revelation of like, actually you were Mary's son all along. No, Jesus.
[00:23:32] One of Jesus final thoughts was to honor his mother by making sure she was taken care of.
[00:23:42] See, honor is not a stage.
[00:23:46] It's a lifelong posture.
[00:23:51] And I know, as I've been talking about honoring your parents, that some of you grew up with a rocky relationship with your parents.
[00:24:03] It wasn't good at all. Or maybe that your parents have passed on. And some of you are like, Mark, you mentioned honor and mother or father in the same sentence. And now you're unraveling years of therapy that I've been trying to get through.
[00:24:19] Like, I understand that.
[00:24:22] But here's.
[00:24:24] Here's what I believe this verse is saying here, this command, honor the position, not the person.
[00:24:34] Honor the position, not the person.
[00:24:38] See, a difficult but important truth is sometimes the position and the person are in conflict. They don't match.
[00:24:49] Honoring does not always mean approving behavior. It means recognizing the God given weight of the role.
[00:24:59] I want you to imagine with me that we're in a conference room right now, and in this conference room there is a podium that's got a bunch of microphones competing to get the best voice.
[00:25:17] There's reporters everywhere sitting down. There's teleprompters on the side, there's analysts, and we're waiting in this room. And one minute goes by, two minutes goes by, and on the third minute, the president of The United States walks across and there's two things that happen.
[00:25:43] Everybody in the room gets up and gives a round of applause.
[00:25:48] But the reason they do that is not because everybody in the room loves the President, that they agree with everything that they're doing that he's doing.
[00:26:02] It's not that there's these little electric buzzards that when they hit it, he stands up and gets jolted.
[00:26:12] It's because they honor the position.
[00:26:20] It's because they see the significance the position has over them and their country.
[00:26:28] See, we honor the position of parent even when the parent has failed the position.
[00:26:36] This is where grace and forgiveness become essential for those who have a broken or painful relationship with your parents.
[00:26:52] Maybe it's a mom a dad honor begins by acknowledging the significance they've had on your life, but not excusing the harm.
[00:27:05] This does not mean to forget everything and treat treat like nothing had ever happened.
[00:27:13] No, it means seeing the impact your parents had on your life and learning to forgive them as Christ has forgiven you.
[00:27:29] Ultimately, we forgive as we recognize that God is the only perfect Father and He redeems what our earthly parents could not provide.
[00:27:49] If your parents were abusive, I'm sorry, but our God is loving and he doesn't take advantage of.
[00:28:00] If your parents are mean, I'm sorry, but our God is kind.
[00:28:08] If your parents never listened to you or ignored you, our God is compassionate and understanding.
[00:28:17] If your parents completely neglected you, our God loves you so much that he sent his one and only son so that you could be in his family and be called children of God.
[00:28:35] Our Heavenly Father is perfect in all of his ways, bound by the character of his love to be the ultimate Father that no one else could be.
[00:28:49] So some of us here have replaced significance that is due to the role of parent with something else.
[00:29:04] And maybe rightfully so.
[00:29:07] Maybe that's a grudge.
[00:29:11] Maybe you're holding on to unforgiveness and hatred.
[00:29:17] But God calls us to come as we are in order to become people of love and grace.
[00:29:31] So I've got a question for you as we get into this next song that we should reflect on.
[00:29:39] I'd encourage you to do so.
[00:29:42] Where do you need to start honoring your parents?
[00:29:47] Is it simply just recognizing the significance in their life?
[00:29:52] In your life, is it to begin to start the process of forgiveness? This isn't something that happens overnight, but it takes time.
[00:30:06] Or maybe you've gone through the recognization of significance and you forgive them, but you haven't taken that step of actually making peace with them or reconciling.
[00:30:21] During this next song, I want to encourage you.
[00:30:26] Where do you need to start to show significance to your parents?
[00:30:31] Let's pray.
[00:30:33] Gracious Heavenly Father, we love you so much and we know that you are the perfect Father.
[00:30:43] We know that you love and that you care for us, that you love us unconditionally. We don't have to do anything to earn your love because you are love itself and you have called us into a relationship. You are want us and I just pray for this time that Holy Spirit, you would work through each one of us that we would be willing to receive what you have for us.
[00:31:20] Thank you God that we have the privilege of knowing your word and honoring our parents.
[00:31:26] We love you when we pray this in Jesus name, Amen.
