Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Hey, New Life Gillette Church, we are thrilled you decided to listen to our teaching on your favorite podcast app. If you made a decision to follow Christ today, would you let us know by visiting? Yes, newlife gillette.com here is this week's teaching.
[00:00:25] All right, we are going to be in Ephesians chapter four today. Ephesians Chapter four. If you've got a Bible, open up there. Want to say good morning to everybody joining us online church 307 over at the prison. Wherever you're watching from across the state of Wyoming, we are stoked you're here this morning. We're continuing in our World Builders series, really dialing in on how we use words to build the world around us and to affect the people around us. So Ephesians chapter four. One more thing before we start reading, I would highly recommend bringing a paper Bible to church with you on Sunday or at least opening up your phone when we read Scripture, because you can read it here. And I promise this is actually what the Bible says that's on the screen. But you can't take notes on this screen, right? You can't highlight or underline things on this screen. One of the cool things that happens when you bring a paper Bible or you bring the Bible app is you highlight stuff, you underline it, you write notes, and then two years later we're back in the same verse and you're like, man, this is what God taught me two years ago and here's what he's teaching me today, right? It becomes a map of your life to see what God's been teaching you over the years, and it becomes really, really helpful as you grow in your faith. So open up the Bible app or bring a paper Bible with you to church. If you didn't, if you don't have the app, totally fine, follow along. But if you have it, get out your phones, get out your Bible, and follow along. All right, sweet two of you are going to do it. All right, Ephesians 4, we're going to start reading in verse 25.
[00:01:49] Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor. For we are all members of one body. In your anger, do not sin, do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work doing something useful with their own hands so that they may have something to share with those in need. This is not part of the sermon. It's just an interesting aside. Paul tells us to Work, not so that we're building stuff up for ourselves. He doesn't say, quit stealing and start doing something productive for yourself. He says, why? So we can share with those in need. Because all of us have the responsibility and the calling to bless the world around us. So that's what we do with our skills. We talked about the serving series just a few weeks ago. When we use our skills and our gifts for something bigger than ourselves. That's what Paul's talking about here.
[00:02:43] Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen and do not grieve. The Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of. Of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you. Let's pray.
[00:03:23] Jesus, this is your word. We have already participated with you in your body and your blood this morning. We thank you that you gave us communion to remember you and that you gave us your word to hear from you.
[00:03:38] So we ask that right now that if there's any of my opinions in this sermon, let us notice them and throw them away. My opinions don't matter.
[00:03:46] But if there's anything over the next few minutes that's faithful to your word, would you make it stand out to us? We would see it and receive it and become like you, Jesus. We love you.
[00:03:58] Amen.
[00:04:00] All right, I have a very, very important question for you. Maybe the most important question I've ever asked on a Sunday morning in my entire life. And I want you to think about it. I want you to take time to seriously consider this before you answer. It's incredibly, incredibly important. All right? Are you ready for it? All right, here it is.
[00:04:23] Sharks or alligators? This is not an important question. I actually don't want you to think about it all. I just want you to gut react, Okay? I just want your immediate instinct on this. Sharks or alligators? If you say sharks, raise your hand.
[00:04:35] Oh, a lot of shark people. All right. Apparently none of you saw Sharknado or Jaws.
[00:04:40] Sharknado. The documentary horrified me. No one's safe.
[00:04:44] Alligators, raise your hand.
[00:04:46] Okay. Some of you like to play with danger. I like that. All right.
[00:04:51] I AM Team Shark 100% of the time. I was joking about Sharknado, in case you didn't know. It's not a documentary. It might Surprise you.
[00:05:00] I'm Team Shark 100% of the time. No question. Don't have to think about it. Team shark. Do you know why?
[00:05:06] Here's why. I grew up in the southeast, in North Carolina. In the state I grew up in, we had both sharks and alligators, okay? I grew up in the mountains, but when we went to the coast, both of these things could be around at any time. Here's why. If I went to the coast and I saw this sign right here, this one, all right? Warning shark activity. Do you know what I have to do to be safe?
[00:05:31] Stay out of the water.
[00:05:33] That's it. It's the easiest thing. All you have to do is stay out of the water and you're 100% safe. You can walk right up to the water and you're safe. Look, you don't even have to stay out of all water. You just have to stay out of water connected to an ocean, right? You can go in a pond, you can go in a pool, you can go to a water park. You can get one of those hotels that has a pool right by the beach so you can sit in a pool and look at the ocean, right? You just don't go in the ocean or any water connected the ocean. Not to ruin your day, anything or anything. But they have found bull sharks 100 miles up the Mississippi River. So I recommend before you get in any water, open up Google Maps. Look, follow and see if it's connected to the ocean and if it is, stay out. But if it's not connected to the ocean, just go for it, right? You are completely safe. Look, you can go on a boat if you want, you're fine. You can go fishing. You can go fishing from the pier. All you have to do is stay out of the water. There is a clear boundary, right? And you can walk right up to it, right? You can get your toes in the water and as long as you stay out of the water, you're completely safe. But here's the thing, if you see this sign, that means don't go near the water.
[00:06:47] How close is too close? I have no idea. Move to Wyoming. That's what I did, right?
[00:06:54] Don't go near the water. Okay? One time I was driving through Orlando and I saw what looked like a 10 foot alligator just in the yard of a double tree by Hilton. Man, just like there wasn't water around. You thought it was a bellhop, it was an alligator. Your bags and you is what it was here for. And it was right there in the middle of the city. There is no place that's safe in Florida from alligators. That's what I've learned. In fact, if you talk to someone who lives in Florida, this is what they say. If there's water and it doesn't have a fence, there's an alligator in it.
[00:07:23] Those are the rules. There's an alligator in the water. Swimming pool, there's an alligator in it. I know people who live in Florida and they don't let their kids, youngish kids, I would say, like 18 and under, play near water, right? They don't do it. Why? Because if there's not a fence, there's an alligator in the water, almost definitely. And you never know. If you want to be safe around alligators, you have to be aware, right? You have to pay attention to what's around you. There's no clear boundary. You're just kind of slowly getting closer to the danger zone the closer you get to water, right? You have to pay attention. You have to be able to make wise choices. You don't have to be mature to not get eaten by a shark, right? Just stay dry and you won't get eaten by a shark.
[00:08:07] You have to be a little bit mature to not get eaten by an alligator if there are a bunch of alligators around, right?
[00:08:16] Actually, did you know if you go get a vacation home in Orlando and you stay there for a week, there's going to be a pool in the back because it is so hot and you have to do something about it, but that pool is going to have screen all the way around it. Why? For two reasons. One, to keep out the mosquitoes that are the size of Apache helicopters. And two, to keep out alligators because if there wasn't a fence, there'd be an alligator in that pool. I don't like Florida. I'm just saying, This that we're talking about is why Christians are constantly tempted with legalism.
[00:08:54] This is why we as followers of Jesus are constantly tempted to care more about rules than about following Jesus faithfully.
[00:09:05] This is why.
[00:09:06] Because if there's a clear line and I know I'm safe, that doesn't require a lot of thinking, right?
[00:09:15] If I can say, as long as I don't do that, I'm not in trouble, that doesn't require a lot of maturity, right? Everybody who does that is bad.
[00:09:26] Everybody who doesn't do that is good, right?
[00:09:29] If you're here and you're not a Christian, if someone drugs you to church today and you're like, Christians are all just that. All they care about Rules. They're hypocrites. They're so illegalistic. It's all they care about. This is why this is. You're right. We are tempted to become that way. That's not how Jesus is. That's not how we're taught to be. But we're tempted to become like that. Why? Because we're scared, effectively, of being in trouble, right? And it's easier to draw a clear line, to say, as long as I don't cross that line, I'm fine. So this is what we do as followers of Jesus at what we're tempted to do. We draw lines, right? So we say, all right, as long as I don't look like that person or dress like that person or go to that part of town, I'm fine.
[00:10:17] People who dress like that and look like that and wear those things and say, they, those people are bad. I'm not like them.
[00:10:25] And then Jesus says, God does not look at the outside.
[00:10:30] He says, God looks at the heart, not like men.
[00:10:34] And Jesus tears that line right up.
[00:10:39] Now we say, well, as long as I don't eat or drink or do that thing, I don't do what those people do.
[00:10:53] I'm fine. I'm not like those people. I don't go to the places. I don't eat the things, I don't drink the things that they drink. And Jesus says, it's not what goes into the body that makes you unclean, it's what comes out.
[00:11:05] And he tears up that line that takes too long.
[00:11:13] And then we say, I don't say those words.
[00:11:18] I know what words I'm not supposed to say, and I don't say them like a good Christian, right?
[00:11:27] Those other people who listen to that music that says those words and say those words, I'm not like them.
[00:11:35] And then Paul tells us, do not let anything unwholesome come out of your mouth, but only what is useful for building up others.
[00:11:52] Paul says, no, Words build worlds.
[00:11:55] It's about a lot more than a line.
[00:11:58] For the record, it's a lot easier to live by the line. Why? Because legalism feels safe.
[00:12:08] Legalism feels safe. It's easier to live by the line. Now, Jesus generally does not call us to the easy way of living.
[00:12:19] Jesus is not terribly interested in making things easy for us. He's interested in us becoming who we're created to be. That's why at New Life we say, come as you are and become who you're created to be. Jesus is concerned with us becoming who we're created to Be not taking the easy way in life. So legalism feels safe. But he constantly critiques the Pharisees who are bent on legalism. Every time we draw a line, Jesus pulls that line up and he makes it more difficult. Now, that's not to say there aren't things that are wrong.
[00:12:55] That's not to say there are no lines. But that's to say when we want to say, I want to walk up to the edge of it and know that I'm safe. Jesus says, no, it's way more complicated than that. This passage that we read kind of hinges on that word unwholesome in verse 29. Do not let anything unwholesome come out of your mouth. Now, if you grew up, like, in church, like I did, then you hear that word, and you probably assume that that means certain words that are, you know, censored out on daytime television, right? Do not let anything like that come out of your mouth. That's not exactly what this word means. The Greek word here is the word sapros.
[00:13:33] I don't actually know how to say that, but if you say any Greek word with confidence, people assume you know what you're talking about.
[00:13:39] It's the Greek word sapros and unwholesome is a pretty good translation of that.
[00:13:45] But what it really literally means is rotten or corrupt. Do not let anything rotten come out of your mouth. You ever reached into the fridge and opened a pack of strawberries, and you think you're grabbing one that's safe, and then it's moldy on the bottom and you've got that, like, fruit vomit all over your hands for the. For a while. It makes you want to throw up, right? Rotten sapros. Don't let anything like that come out of your mouth. That is a little bit more complicated than just don't say certain words, isn't it?
[00:14:18] Because there are a lot of things that you can say on television at one in the afternoon that are rotten, right?
[00:14:28] There are a lot of things that I can say and no one blink at it that I can say as a pastor, and no one would think twice. But they're rotten, right? Because they're not building people up. They're designed to corrupt, to harm, to hurt someone, to judge someone in a way that Christ does not.
[00:14:52] To differentiate myself from other people, to say, no, I'm not like those people, huh?
[00:14:57] Right? Even though we all cost Jesus the same death, I'm not like them. Right?
[00:15:03] Don't let anything rotten come out of your mouths. Now, I think that forces us to ask this question, this one right here. Can you imagine a world where we refuse to say anything rotten? Now, I don't mean the whole world, right? That is probably impossible. But I just mean, like, us. Like, what if we at New Life, what if we who follow Jesus in Gillette, Wyoming, what if just us. Can you imagine a world in which we refuse to say anything rotten? We refuse to say anything designed to harm or degrade or, or bring down or speaking ill of another person or another church or another people group or another ideology. What if we decided if it's rotten, I'm not going to say it. Can you imagine how different that would be?
[00:15:57] Can you imagine how that would affect our marriages? Can you imagine a world in which we refuse to say anything rotten to one another in our marriages?
[00:16:07] You imagine a world in which we take a breath and we say, nope, I started to say it, but I'm not going to because it was going to be rotten. You know, there's this trend going around. It's been going around for the last few years. It's called radical honesty. Have anybody heard of that trend? It's garbage, all right? It's awful. Radical honesty is basically this idea where you just say everything you feel, right? If you're married, you just say absolutely everything you feel and absolutely everything you think to one another. Here's the thing. I feel lots of rotten ways, right? Sometimes when I'm mad, I think things that I absolutely do feel, but I shouldn't say them, right? If I said that thing, it would be rotten, right? My wife doesn't deserve to hear me when I'm angry. Unfiltered. All right? She doesn't deserve that. My son doesn't deserve to hear me angry. Unfiltered. No, Because I might say something that's rotten. Our feelings, our emotions are completely valid. They're just not always accurate, right? They tell us how we feel. They don't necessarily tell us facts. Right? A good way to think of it is your senses can tell you that you're in a garage, but they can't tell you that you're a car. Right?
[00:17:17] Your feelings can tell you how you're feeling, but they can't tell you who you are or who they are or what they did, right? Because when we're angry, we're not very good at figuring out what's true or who our enemies are or anything like that, right? Like our emotions tell us something that's true about ourselves, but they don't necessarily tell us who we are or who the other person is. Or fully what's going on in the situation, Right? What if we. How would it change our marriages if we said, even if I'm angry at you, I won't say anything rotten? What if we were willing to say, you know what, I want to have this conversation, but I need a minute. I'm going to go take a walk. I love you.
[00:17:54] I don't want. I don't like the way I feel right now. So I just need a minute and we'll come back to the conversation, Right?
[00:18:02] Imagine how it would change our marriages if no matter what the guys are saying on the job site about their wives, we didn't say anything rotten.
[00:18:11] You imagine that. You imagine the influence of how your marriage would become an example of Jesus at your work site if you just refused to say anything rotten about your spouse, Anything that would make her look bad, anything that would reflect poorly on her, but to only say things that show your love and care and compassion and mercy for her. Right.
[00:18:31] Can you imagine what it would be like if no matter what the girls are saying about their husbands, if you decided, I won't say anything rotten, I won't say anything rotten about my husband, about my fiance, about my boyfriend, I won't do it.
[00:18:45] I'll only say things that show love and respect and mercy and compassion. I won't let it come out of my mouth. Right? Can you imagine what it would be like if we said, I won't say anything rotten? As a parent, I will correct my kids.
[00:19:00] I'll tell them when they're wrong, I will punish them. But I'll make sure that I'm controlling my emotions so that my emotions aren't spilling over onto my kids.
[00:19:09] Right? And when I make the mistake, as we all do, and say something rotten, I'll own it and confess and admit it. I'll say I'm sorry even to my kids. Can you imagine how that would change things? A few years ago, I was taking my son hunting. When we live in South Carolina, he kind of wanted to go, and I really wanted to take him, which was the. The first mistake. He sort of wanted to go. I really wanted him to go along. We got up early. We went out to go hunt squirrels, right? In South Carolina, you hunt squirrels. They are delicious. I don't care what anybody says.
[00:19:36] We went out squirrel hunting. We got there really early, and in that place, I knew there were going to be squirrels. And my son starts squirming. I'm cold. Can we go home? No. We drove an hour to get here. We're not going home.
[00:19:48] Can we please go home? I'm hungry. No, we're not going to go get food. We're staying here. This is what we came out here to do. You said you wanted to kill a squirrel. And he's just. He keeps going, right? And he's getting more upset. And I'm trying to be a good dad, buddy, we're going to kill a squirrel. If you can just be patient.
[00:20:03] And eventually it just builds up and builds up and he's starting to fuss and I say, shut up.
[00:20:10] That was rotten.
[00:20:12] That was a rotten thing to say to my son, right? My emotions drove what I said. He immediately started weeping. I had never talked to him like that before.
[00:20:22] I saw immediately that it was rotten and I apologized to him. He still brings it up years later, which makes me want to say more rotten things. But I'm working on it, right? But we started to go home and he changed his mind and we went and we had a great day.
[00:20:37] Can you imagine if we decided, no, nothing rotten is going to come out of my mouth.
[00:20:42] And if it does, I'm going to own it.
[00:20:45] I'm going to replace it with something that will build people up.
[00:20:48] What if we decided, I won't say anything rotten about my ex.
[00:20:52] I don't care what they did. I don't care if they cheated.
[00:20:57] I'm not going to say anything rotten about them.
[00:21:00] Why? Because Scripture says, don't let anything unwholesome, don't let anything corrupt or rotten come out of your mouth, right? And the things that come out of our mouths breed bitterness and they breed mistrust and they breed unforgiveness, right? So what if we just said, no, I'm not going to say it?
[00:21:14] Can you imagine what it would be like if we said, I'm not going to say anything rotten about someone I disagree with politically?
[00:21:22] If we said, no, I'm not going to talk about those idiots who watch whatever news station. I'm not going to do it.
[00:21:28] I'm not going to let anything rotten come out of my mouth. I don't care what background they're from. I don't care what they believe.
[00:21:34] I don't care what their political opinions are. I'm not going to say anything rotten about them. In fact, what if we took it a step farther and we said, I. I'm not going to say anything rotten about a politician because they're a human made in the image of God, too, no matter how much I disagree with them, right?
[00:21:47] And Paul didn't say, don't Let anything unwholesome come out of your mouth unless that person is in office, right?
[00:21:56] He said, don't let anything unwholesome come out of your mouth. So what if we said not about a politician, not about a celebrity, not about a musician, not about anybody, right?
[00:22:07] A funny thing happens in our culture. We make people famous when they're 19, and then we gossip about every bad thing they do in public. When any of us, if we had a camera following us around when we were 19, wouldn't have been great, right?
[00:22:22] You know, what if we decided we're not going to say anything rotten, right? What if we decided we're not just going to not gossip yet? There's this funny thing that we often do. We confuse gossip and slander. He goes on, he says, get rid of all malice. Get rid of all brawling, get rid of all slander. Gossip and slander are things we confuse as a culture a lot. Because we tell ourselves that as long as what I'm saying is true, it's not gossip. As long as what I'm saying is true, it's not slander.
[00:22:48] Slander is saying things that aren't true about a person. If I go to a restaurant and I see you and your spouse sitting together and you guys have grumpy faces, you know, and you're not really talking, and then I say, hey, I heard their marriage is falling apart, that's slander. That's not gossip. That's slander. I'm spreading a rumor that is untrue. It has no basis in fact. I have no way of backing it up. I'm slandering another person. If I'm saying something that I don't know is true, if it is true, it's gossip.
[00:23:17] If I'm saying something that is true, if you come and tell me, hey, our marriage is falling apart, and I start going around to all my friends and saying, hey, you should pray for them, their marriage is falling apart. That's gossip. It's gossip. Even if you put you should pray for them in front of it.
[00:23:34] Gossip is sharing things that aren't mine to share, right? Slander is sharing things that aren't true. What if we decided nothing rotten, nothing. I won't do it. I won't let it come out of my mouth. Why? Because words build worlds.
[00:23:52] Words build worlds. And what does he tell us to do? What does Paul tell us to do? He says, don't just not let it come out of your mouth, but only that which is used to build up. So what if we Replaced rotten talk with encouraging talk, right? What if we decided to intentionally say things that build up our spouses and build up our kids? What if we intentionally decided to, with our words and thoughts, be generous to people we disagree with? What if we decided to say things like, you know what? I don't agree with that person. I don't understand why they would think or vote the way they do, but I bet they're a human trying their best, just like I am. And we might disagree, but I want to understand why they think the way they do, right? What if we decided to build people up to speak generously and kindly to one another, Right? Not that we never. Correct. Not that we never confront. But what if I need to confront you about sin or you need to confront me about sin? What if we said, hey, C.J. i. I love you and I know you're not trying to hurt people, but I've noticed this thing that's going on in your life and. And I think you need to get control. I think you need to work on it, right? I think it's hurting people and you don't realize it. What if we confronted s generosity and kindness and mercy with the intention of building people up because we love them instead of making ourselves feel better about ourselves? Right?
[00:25:11] What if we believed, we embraced that words build worlds, and we intentionally got rid of anything that will rot the world around us and instead choose to build the world around us up with the kindness and mercy of Jesus?
[00:25:29] Words build worlds. Now, I want this to be really, really practical. These are the types of ideas that can be interesting but hard to apply, right? So I want to give you two questions as I close, two questions that I think if you can answer these two questions before you react, when you feel emotional and you want to say things, if you can pause and answer these two questions, then I think we can pretty much guarantee that what we say will not be rotten and will build people up instead. Here are the two questions.
[00:26:00] First, what would Jesus say? You remember, what would Jesus do? Bracelets. What would Jesus say? Would Jesus call that person that name?
[00:26:12] Would Jesus call that person an idiot for thinking that way? Would Jesus talk about his ex? Amen. Would Jesus talk about his ex that way? Right?
[00:26:24] What would Jesus say in this situation if Jesus needed to have a tough conversation with his wife? What would Jesus say?
[00:26:31] Right? Would he say, how could you?
[00:26:34] Or would he say, hey, I've got some questions. I'm confused about some things. Can you help me understand?
[00:26:39] Right?
[00:26:40] What would Jesus say?
[00:26:42] And then how would Jesus say it, right?
[00:26:50] Because there's a big difference between you always do this and hey, it seems like you keep doing the same thing, right?
[00:27:00] It's a big difference. You're saying the same thing, but you're saying it differently. So first, what would Jesus say and then how would Jesus say it? Which the answer. Let me just give you the answer to the second one is he would probably take a deep breath and lower his volume.
[00:27:19] Probably not all the time, right? Jesus got mad a couple times when it was very called for. In general, I think he'd take a deep breath and lower his volume.
[00:27:28] What would Jesus say and how would Jesus say it? I think if we can ask these two questions when we're using our words, then we can pretty much guarantee we're not saying anything rotten and we are building up the people around us. Let's pray.
[00:27:47] Jesus, I thank you for the words you speak to us and over us, that you tell us we are loved and desired and chosen, that you, even when you critique us, even when you correct us, even when you convict us, you do it in love. Would you teach us to do the same thing?
[00:28:10] Would you teach us to use our words the same way?
[00:28:14] We love you, Jesus. Amen.
